hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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