why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
