He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
