Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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