we made out on top of his cat.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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