Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
