I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
how does that bad decision feel?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
