am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
PANTIES FOUND
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
