So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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