I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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