what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize