my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
