I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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