I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
