Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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