Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
