I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize