Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
