4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Never underestimate the power of titties
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