So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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