tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
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You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
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Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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