we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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