smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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