i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
