the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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