Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
