Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize