i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize