Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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