Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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