i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
