The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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