Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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