My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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