i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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