tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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