Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
