OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
