that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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