he wants to bone in the snuggie
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
come find me please
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?