I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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