Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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