You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
