I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
