My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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