he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
