I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
BRING THE BAGELS
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize