I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
