So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
me + whiskey = a bad person
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
