Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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