so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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