he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
