I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
this is an emotional support booty call
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
