Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
