SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
