Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
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Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
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Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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