she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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