NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
