This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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