dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Come on in and take your pants off
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