At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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